I don’t even know where to begin – I don’t want to even be writing this right now. I have too many things to do. I am so angry with you. Why do you lie to me? Why do you hide things from me? You think of me when you make the decisions you make […]

I met a man years ago in college who had recently immigrated to America from Kuwait. He was Lebanese and I learned about his life story, his religion, and his dream to be a writer. I was his first American friend. He has since moved onward in his goals, but left behind a poem for […]

I woke up crying today. I uh, I had a defeating dream that seemed so real. He was there, in my space. He never once looked at me. All my heart wanted to do was run to him but sitting there so vulnerable, I only held myself. He left for work, I heard the rumble […]

I don’t think my depression is caused by any one person or any one event, but it does manifest in my expression of it as a single person. That single person. But the reality is, he is just a vessel that I have chosen to use to express what’s inside because it’s easy. You could […]

No matter how long the journey or how deep the descent,in the end all it takes is one last step. One step between me and madness, between pain and nothing. One single small step.

I woke up today with sunshine in my soul. I loved my own warmth, my strawberry blonde hair, my rustic orange sweater. But how quickly that sunshine disappeared when I went to pick up this stupid dining table. I thought about how great it would be to fit 8 people around the table for D&D…oh […]

I am drunk. I am sad. I am angry. I am…I don’t care. And I care too much. That is all.

I had another bad night, full of tears and self-defeating thoughts. I just missed you and I still haven’t been able to reconcile that you don’t miss me. One good thing came out of last night though…it was made clear to me that you probably never really cared about me and were already looking for […]

My first thought was to write that today was a bad day, because I am feeling bad right now and need someone to cry on. But, the day was decent. I have a new friend that joined the D&D group. Being the host, as I typically do, I go out of my way to make […]