Today just felt weird, you know? I woke up with this sense of foreboding and it never really went away. There are a lot of external variables that are causing me anxiety and high levels of stress. Among those are things like feeling trapped in my current circumstances, seeing someone I know make stupid mistakes, […]

Writing this will take great effort on my part – I am typing while laying down trying to hold up a surface pro; the joke is not lost on anyone who owns one (they’re not lap friendly). How many times has the screen closed on my fingers? Plenty… Anyway, I can’t sleep. At first, I […]

Hi, 7 months later. Can’t believe I haven’t wrote in so long. But I understand why. Depression, contentment, being busy…life gets in the way. Today is Bi- birthday again. Another year for him, another year for me…you guessed it. I am still stuck. Sometimes you just never really fall out of love. I spent so […]

It’s 3:45am. What is today? Oh it’s a Tuesday. I couldn’t sleep. I have had tidal waves of thoughts overflowing my mind and I sat here for hours trying to deter them, but I couldn’t. The first thing I turned to was the iPad to draw, because I didn’t really have words, but I couldn’t […]

Has it ever been such an eventful couple of weeks! Just kidding! Nothing has happened. I rearranged my room, been successful at sticking to a low calorie/work out routine, and caught up in my studies. That’s really it. Some days, like today, I relapse back a little and catch myself thinking about…people and things. But […]

Here’s the thing… I want to be better. I want to feel happier. I want to be a more positive person. I want to leave my depression behind. But when I start having those thoughts, I become overwhelmed with a sense of guilt, and I immediately blame myself for all of the wrongs in the […]

I had a dream about well, you know who, again. I wish I never had to wake up and realize it was a dream. Sigh. I don’t have anything else to say. My heart is still broken 10 months later. I just…needed to get that off my chest. A lot has happened in the last […]

I am getting away. I have a cabin in the Puget Sound that I am staying at. The point of this trip was to recenter myself, reassess my priorities, let go of old memories, make some new ones. But I received a text/phone call today from my oldest friend’s number. Apparently, he killed himself last […]

You know…I wanted to write. I really did. But the things I want to say just seem so….self-centered, self-obsessed, and self-deprecating. When I am writing here, I see the things I am writing through the eyes of people who have come to know what I will write about, what I have to say….because I am […]