I usually write at night before bed to get things off of mind. When I write all these jumbled thoughts out, my mind quiets down just enough to allow me to sleep. But this morning, I woke up and decided to write. I go in today to get the dressings and stitches removed from my […]

I want to write what is on my mind, but I am not yet ready to. Just know that it is eating me up inside, like a festering disease. On a different note, because I am trying to kill time by writing, may as well write something of substance. Things in my life have been […]

I have a lot to say. I just don’t know where to start… My youngest sister, who was kidnapped as an infant, found me after 18 years. She had a lot of questions and I had to rip open a lot of parts of me that I sewed up. Still processing. Surgery on my ear […]

I have a lot to say. Just not tonight. Surgery in the morning. Wish me luck.

When I strip all of the busy out of my life, I am still just left with me. Pretending everything is ok. When it’s not. It’s not ok at all. I am not ok at all.

Before I lay down to try and sleep, I wanted to report on my lunch today with Ri-, our Dungeon Master for D&D. Well, what can I say? I learned so much about a new person and a little something new about myself. First, me. I can’t explain what it is, but certain people attract […]

I have found it cathartic…to a small extent…to write emails to Bi- (even though yes, I know I am blocked and he won’t receive them). But in my head, that email address is still /his/ and it’s something he made, and so writing to it makes me /feel/ as though I have some connection to […]

What am I waiting for? Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that if I continue to hold true to my promises and goals, that it would show that I really do love and I really do care. But I am only fooling myself. I am holding on to a ghost. Someone who is long […]

Sigh.