Has it ever been such an eventful couple of weeks!

Just kidding! Nothing has happened.

I rearranged my room, been successful at sticking to a low calorie/work out routine, and caught up in my studies. That’s really it.

Some days, like today, I relapse back a little and catch myself thinking about…people and things. But I force myself to stop and to focus on something that I can immediately control, like getting out of bed in the morning! The last couple of days have been *shark week* and the stereotype is true that chocolate is the #1 thing on my mind. I NEEEEDDD IIITTTT. I scarfed down a chocolate cheesecake slice while hidden in the corner of the bathroom, I finished off a half gallon of chocolate milk, and when I can, I guiltily spoon out chocolate pudding into my waiting mouth. A friend is bringing me some chocolate gelato this evening. If I could, I would want to swim in a chocolate river. That’s just how I feel right now. Anytime that isn’t *shark week*, sweets no longer hold an appeal to me.

I’d love to have free time to work on some art – my head is just overflowing with ideas. I’m so ready to touch a brush to canvas, or a pen to my tablet, or a pencil to my sketchbook. Counting down the days to the end of the semester, which is sooooo close. Speaking of, I am so close to graduation and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m leaving for Maryland in January to work a field session and I am seeking jobs from Canada to Japan, and hoping to find an opportunity for PhD funding in Japan – we’ll see as time passes.

I am also setting up a live stream channel on Twitch, where I will be reading books out loud. I have been sending out copyright requests left and right for books on my list that aren’t in the public domain, all which do not have audiobook options. I have had numerous positive responses for a need and I am only awaiting approval (or denial) from the copyright entities themselves (many of which the author has passed so the request must filter through the executor or estate).

Anyway, you know, I want to make my own path here and do things that make me happy. I spent too much time crying and beating myself down for the way others treat me. I don’t want to do it anymore. I am deserving of love, at least, I hope that I am. And that starts with me loving myself <3.