I woke up crying today. I uh, I had a defeating dream that seemed so real. He was there, in my space. He never once looked at me. All my heart wanted to do was run to him but sitting there so vulnerable, I only held myself. He left for work, I heard the rumble of his car when it first starts in the morning. I laid out all of the items I’ve ever gotten from him: my watch, two post-it note doodles, a crochet hat. His roommate came and picked the items up and threw them in the trash. I ran to the trash can but everything had been shredded. These…material possessions. These items that are more valuable to me than gold. These items that I keep close to me when I sleep, or when I am away from home. Shredded. Gone. I woke in a panic. I realized where I was and when I was and the tears just kept coming. How do you fall out of love with someone who fell out of love with you? Today…will not be a good day for me. I’m trying. I really am. But the heart wants…what the heart wants…and what the heart can never have.