Tired is a good word to use for how I feel today. Coming off the holiday rush is like finally handing over the kids you’ve been babysitting for an entire day. You crawl into bed…and you just don’t come out for an entire day. Sometimes I wonder if it’s age-related, laziness, or hard-life-related as to why I tire so easily these days. The truth is that it’s probably a good mixture of all three. At any rate, the day is gloomy, cold, and it has been raining non-stop. Today, I am striking through some non-urgent things on my to-do list.

Last night, I met up with Ri- to see Frozen II; note to my readers….watching movies on an IMAX screen meant for a planetarium, is not ideal. But I enjoyed the movie. Afterwards, we ate at a Vegan place and walked around between two events that were nearby, the fair and a Christmas tree lighting event complete with hot cocoa stands, a live band, and tons of things to look at. I am still sort of living in the moment of last night, so it’s a little difficult to write about. We played ‘I Spy’ for a really long time while looking at this vast lego city that was created and oh, more random knowledge. I learned about which types of guitars jazz musicians prefer, mmm….bacteria that can survive an autoclave, sorry, I am tired, recovering discussions is proving a little difficult. It doesn’t help that my mind is elsewhere. Hanging out with an engineer/teacher is great. I am just constantly learning and my friends know how much I love that…technically, I have been in school non-stop since Kindergarten, lol. I don’t really know what it’s like NOT being in school. Anyway, the end of the night was….

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not for you to know – There’s still some unfinished business left on the table. But, it was a great evening.

I’m doing better on the Bi- end of things for now, thanks to my best friend Geo-. He really stepped up to load a lot of my sleepless nights and depression onto himself to help carry me through the dark. There are 7 billion people in the world that you may not be able to count on, but as long as you have 1, you’ll be ok and I am becoming ok. I don’t think the trauma is going to heal easily, or heal permanently, but I can’t express how important and beloved my support group is to me. I don’t write about my best friend much. One, because he reads the blog and two, because I don’t ever have much to say. He is like an extension of myself in some weird way. I don’t know what I am trying to say, I guess I felt a little guilt at realizing that he hasn’t really had a place in my stories on here. Maybe that’s a good thing as here is where I turn when my mind turns dark. They say that behind every successful man is a woman supporting him, but in our case, it’s the complete opposite. My best friend has changed my life. When I had nothing and no one, he was there. When I was suicidal, he was there. When I wanted to get my Master’s so I could be someone in this world, he gave me the funding. Because of him, I never again have to worry about going back to where I came from. I don’t have to be uneducated and poor, living in white trash drug-filled trailer parks or living in my car. Ever again. I show appreciation everyday, but never on here. I thought maybe it was time that I said something about it.

My biggest fears: abandonment and not having a place to live. Thanks to him, I never have to worry about either one of these things again, although sometimes I still do.