Forewarning, this is probably about to get depressing as fuck although I don’t feel very depressed.

This is the thought I have in my head. If someone took the time and effort to block me off Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Venmo, PayPal, their Phone, their Email, their blog, our Adobe account, our joint website…it seems to me that they would be happier if you didn’t exist. Therefore, why the fuck am I still here? If someone went through all of that to get rid of me, why don’t I just kill myself so they can breath easily knowing that I am dead and no longer exist and they can continue on with their life? Clearly I am a burden by being alive. Clearly I am a problem and probably if it were legal, this person would have murdered me to wash themselves clean of me. But pretending I don’t exist was the next best thing? I am not a spiteful person, but man…I sort of just want to off myself so they can find out if the world is really better without me in it. The level of cruelty just….astounds me. Why the fuck am I still here? WHY AM I ALIVE???