Today is going to be a hard day, guys. I had nightmares, I can’t stop thinking about all the stupid mistakes I’ve made. I keep filling up inside with anger and resentment and sadness. I am now trying to convince myself that he’s dead. I think I could cope better that way, I mean, I am dead to him. Guess it’s fair, painful, but what else am I suppose to do? Just “be ok”? Nothing about this is ok!

Its just going to be a bad day, ok?