This is an excerpt from a journal entry two weeks after my mother died, October 2013. I haven’t found the right mindset to write an original piece so for now…enjoy this philosophical piece on death and essence.

“I wanted to expand upon the thought exercise I just completed, but fatigue and a hectic schedule won out. As I stood in the hot water of my nightly shower, I started thinking about my mom. I talk to her even though she just died and no one is really there in front of me. And I thought, ‘How silly is this?’ but then my thoughts took off. Sartre believes that the ‘other’ gives oneself existence, right? That we exist with an essence only because other people perceive us. We are who we are because of perceptions. Who exactly would one person be if no other living being existed? Anyway, onward. So I thought about my mom’s death and the chemical processes that are actually involved. The body dies, the brain dies and in essence, there is no presence. Human beings feel the presence (or consciousness) of other living beings. Could the same be said of non-living objects? I mean, non-living objects have an essence also. Back on topic. If our perception gives existence to other human beings and objects, would that mean that my mom could, in theory, still exists even though she is dead because I still perceive her through my conversations with her? Which brings me to my next thought, does that technically make me God? Us Gods? To each other? On to my next thought. What happens to presence when one dies? When the brain ceases to function and consciousness is lost, where could that essence go? In theory, it sounds good to think upon transcendence but what tangible thing actually transcends? Transcendence is quantifiable. Thus, this nulls the hypothesis for now but only because I understand science and the limited knowledge of human beings. So, if not transcendence from a physical (perceived physical) vessel, then do we just cease to exist? But that isn’t logical. We created essence, we created presence by perception. Food for thought”.